The Needing of Hugs

ok
i cant do this anymore
i know its only been like 3 hours
but im seriously not coping
my eyes are always teary
i almost cry if people say goodbye to me
i almost cry if people say ANYTHING to me
i almost cry if people dont say anything to me
and soon im going to cry if people look at me
its so weird
this whole time ive been thinking
'its going to be so bad in november when we have to give the house up for auction' and i had acccepted that. i accepted that in NOVEMEBER we would deal with it. Maybe october or september or even august, not early june. Not now. i need now. then i can deal with, now is sacred. if it was then, then i could get my head around it, if it was then, then i could find ways to deal with it. but right now i dont need that obstacle any bigger, especially not IN-MY-FACE HUGE!! ive always been sensitive, ive always been able to cover up my emotions, ive always been the rock and had rocks of my own. now im a feather and rocks cant help me when im flying away in the storm. haha thats a pretty good analogy. im a feather. who cares about a feather flying on the breeze, much less a gale forced wind, they might pick up a feather on the side walk, but never on a free way, never a feather thats muddy or runover or ugly or retarted looking, or a normal feather that falls into the background. from now on im going to pick up as many feathers as i can when im walking. Maybe not in the middle of a freeway but ill do my bit. Because i know how much it would mean if someone picked me off the ground, if someone too kthe time out for an ugly muddy feather that falls into the background, or a feather flying with the wind in a storm. a harmless feather forced into something they dont want to do because its harmless and nobody cares if it falls in the mud and is never discovered again. Nobody cares if it dies. but guess what everybody? birds would die without them! birds would get caught by there predators and couldnt live in trees and their babies would die, or get stepped on and be quite ugly. They would die, without me a bird would die. and i know that mum gets angry when i bring home dead birs in my lunchbox but they deserve a funeral. i would want a funeral if i was them. Because they are animals humans treat them like they are second best, I treat them like they are second best! how can i do that to them? how can WE do that to them? man i feel so bad. to all the birds of the world, to all the animals of the world, IM SO SORRY