Lol lonely stray
thats a great definition of me
a little lost soul wondering among people
smiling and waving and laughing but never feeling at home
never feeling part of anything
never feeling whole
today i once again had to tell toni that the guy she had her eye on didnt like her 'in that way'. why does in always have to be me? i know its like my duty as a friend but seriously, one heart can only be broken so many times by one person. first i stole her epic crush that shed liked for months then i had to break the news that marky fancied some other chick. im the breaker of hearts, thats my nick name now. at least mark is sorry. hes saying hell have nightmares of toni crying and just now he totally freaked out when tonis name had the 'Away' sign and was panicking that she was crying away from the screen. he really cares about her, in a way he may love her, but just unfortunately not the right way. but this chick mark likes, whos name im not aloud to tell anyone, sounds genuinly nice. i so wanted Mark to be gay, itsa like the ultimate excuse to explain not liking toni who i have explained many times would be the perfect girlfriend, mother and wife. man like i would date her if i was a guy. and i mean that in the most non-awkward way possible. but the problem with dating is that its either going to be your last boyfriend ever or you get totally battered and yu have to try again. its like you are a donught and you are sliding along a table, guys line the table and as you glide past they take a bite out of you, if they like you they keep you and when they dont like you they put you back out to be eaten again. then the right guy will come past and hell keep you safe and hell never put you back out on the table to be battered again. but you see once he takes you some donughts want to be back on the market and there you go, another problem. the donught gets a choice but when it makes a choice someone gets hurt and how does she know if its the right choice? the perfect guy could be next in line or he could be the last person or dying of the measles. he could be anywhere thats why its so stupid. BLOODY STUPID I TELL YOU! im just going to go.
thanks for reading
love you toni
niah xx
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